3 Misconceptions of Forgiveness

Releasing forgiveness is not easy, especially when you are still in pain. Many times you will feel tired and exhausted because of the memories of the past, but the healing process won’t start not until you forgive. It is the first step. You may think that pain is what prevented you from forgiving the people who broke your heart, but sometimes it’s not about the memories, but it’s about your mindset towards forgiveness that hinders you from experiencing true healing. There are certain perspectives that you need to change.

Here are three common misconceptions about forgiveness that you need to let go of:

1. To forgive is to forget.

You don’t have to forget everything just for you to learn had to forgive. Because the truth is, it’s not possible to easily forget the pain. You can’t just dictate your heart to stop bleeding. You can’t just command your wounds to heal instantly. Your memories will still stay, and you need to deal with them. You need to make a decision to forgive even if what happened in the past is still fresh. You need to courageously declare to yourself that you forgive those who broke your heart. You can do it if you will ask for God’s strength. He will open your eyes to His goodness and love. He will let you see the purpose behind the suffering. One day, you will realize that God’s power is greater than the pain that you experienced. You will discover that His mercy is all you need to forgive others.

2. Forgiveness is a one-time decision.

Forgiveness is both a choice and a process. You will still face the impact of what happened in the past. Just because you decided to let go doesn’t mean you will no longer experience the pain. It will stay for a while. You will still go through days when your wounds will be triggered. You need to deal with yourself patiently and consistently choose to forgive every time you remember what happened. No wonder Jesus included these words in the Lord’s prayer:

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. Matthew 6:12

This reminds us that we need to release forgiveness every time we connect and pray to God. Maybe He purposely did it because He knows it’s a daily decision we must make.

3. Forgiveness is a feeling.

You don’t have to wait for the pain to disappear before you learn to forgive your offenders. You need to release it even if you are still walking in the darkness simply because it’s not about what we feel, but it’s about following God’s command. He instructed His children to release forgiveness not once, not twice, but seventy times seven times. Even Jesus released forgiveness while He was crucified on the cross (Luke 23:34). He asked the Father to forgive the people who put Him there despite what He felt. He didn’t wait until the resurrection to release forgiveness. Instead, He did it while His heart and soul were torn apart.

Forgiveness is only possible if you know what it feels like to be forgiven. You must remind yourself that Jesus gave you the grace you need even if you don’t deserve it. You need His love to remind you that just like those people who broke your trust, you also need to ask forgiveness from God for the sins that you’ve committed. His sacrifice on the cross will remind you to also share the grace you received from Him. Choose to forgive because it’s the only way for you to break the chains of the past.