Dear God, Why Is It Hard To Receive Your Perfect Love?

I never really know what it means to receive perfect love. It seems like it doesn’t exist. How could someone love me unconditionally? I can’t fathom the idea that someone is willing to surrender his life just for me to experience healing and find freedom. It’s hard to believe someone wanted to give me everything I needed without expecting anything in return. This world somehow treats this idea as foolish. People will treat me as stupid or unwise if I do such a thing.

This is why it’s hard to believe in your perfect love. Part of me is wondering if it is real or not. The more I focus on the negative things that are happening around me, the more I realize how hard it is to believe in your love. But then, everything shifted the moment you called my name and touched my heart.

I discovered why it’s hard for me to believe in your love. It’s because of the painful things that I experienced in the past. It’s all because of the wounds in my heart. I fixed my eyes on the negative things that happened to me to the point that I no longer appreciate the good things that You did. I listened to the enemy’s lies instead of believing in Your promises. I stopped holding Your hands and chose to live in the darkness.

I realize it takes a humble heart to receive your perfect love. I need to acknowledge the truth that I am nothing without You. I need to constantly remind myself that You are the only One who can satisfy the emptiness within. Above all, I learned to stop focusing on myself. I won’t be able to receive Your love if I will just think of the things that I want to happen. The only way for me to experience your presence is to simply surrender and let go my own understanding.