God’s goodness never left

It’s been a while.

I checked my last blog, and it was last October.  Whew, that’s almost one year since I last wrote about something. And now here I am trying to think of the words that I need to put together.

I just can’t describe the season that I was in, I mean, I’m in.

It’s different.

It’s new.

It’s difficult.

It was painful.

And I don’t know why I am here writing again. Perhaps, this is no longer my strength. I think this is no longer my own confidence.  It’s God’s grace that brought me here.

It’s God’s grace that led me to write again.

Just want to share something real.

Since last year, I have been struggling with so many things.

From personal, emotional, spiritual, name it.

I felt like life was so dark. I felt all sorts of negative emotions. Sometimes, I was happy, but then other days, I find myself living in the past. Trying to rewind the painful things and words that I’ve heard. I don’t really know what’s happening. I don’t have a clue why I was in that dark place.

Part of me is asking, did I commit a mistake? Is this a punishment? Did I offend or hurt God?

I had so many questions.

I can’t share everything in detail, but one thing I realized in that season:

God’s goodness never left.

His love stays.

He remained patient.

To me, the season looks dark, but to Him it’s a season of truth. No pretensions, no misconceptions, everything was exposed. He let me see that part of me that I can’t accept. He opened that space in my heart that I always wanted to hide. He let me see the real ‘me.’

The raw, no filter version of me.

The broken, wounded, hurting, lost version of me.  

He let me realize who that person is that He has already accepted ever since time began.

He let me see the thorns that I was carrying, and how He embraced me despite those painful thorns.

God opened my eyes to the kind of love I never thought existed.

And my prayer is, as you read these words, may you also receive the same love.

If by chance you are in the same season that I was or I am in, I pray that God’s love will be more evident.

Until then…

P.S. This is not written by an artificial system; this is written by a breathing human being who experienced true life, real pain, real love, and grace from a real God.