Romans 4:13, NIV
It’s all about faith. You need to accept the truth that it’s not about following the law or making an effort so that Jesus will notice you. He already loved you even before you knew Him, and all you need to do is receive Him with all your heart, mind, and soul. The promises of God are always available. Abraham and his offspring received them not by following the law but by having faith in Jesus. So when you are tempted to rely on your own works and ways, just keep in mind that God values your faith more than anything else.
I pray that you will exercise your faith and stop relying on your own works.