The Silent Cries Of The Heart Who Wants To Fight

I wanted to experience victory, but why do I feel so tired? I like to fight and try to win against the pain I feel inside, but it seems like every time I do something, the more it hurts to go on and move forward. Some chains are holding my heart. And if I will continue to move, it feels like everything will be broken apart. I can no longer imagine the future that I used to dream. I can no longer see myself doing something great. I am losing and dying inside. I still want to experience great things in life. But it seems like it’s so impossible for me to get there.

I needed to complete the pieces together so that I can understand what’s happening, but I don’t know how to do it. I don’t have any idea where to start. Shall I deal first with the deepest pain inside? But I don’t think I can face it. I needed enough courage and strength. How I long to stop everything and end the pain, but still, I wanted to stay for the people I love. Even though they don’t have any clue about what’s going on inside, I wanted to keep the fight for them.

When will this end?

How can I see the light once again?

To you who is hiding the battle inside,

I don’t really have any clue what is exactly you are going through. But all I know is, it’s painful and heartbreaking for you. I may not know your story, but you deserve to know this. You are such a beautiful warrior. It’s okay to cry in the middle of the night. It’s okay to ask for questions that are just too deep to answer. It’s alright to feel weak sometimes. You will get through this. Hold on to the slightest hope you have and never let it go.

Fighting a battle all alone is not an easy thing to do. You will find yourself empty, lost, broken, and confused. But then, you will learn a lot about yourself along the process. Just remember that God is always with you. He is holding your heart right now. He knows how fragile and precious it is. He will take good care of you.

I don’t know when the pain will end, but all I know is that the light you’ve been looking for all this time is already inside your heart. He is knocking. But the question is, “Will you let Him in?”